Happy Pill

Top Menu

  • Home
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Resources

Main Menu

  • Home
  • Experiences
  • Advocates
  • Insight
    • Peers
    • Professionals
  • Shop
  • Share Your Story
  • PROFESSIONALS
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Resources

logo

Happy Pill

  • Home
  • Experiences
    • Flying With My Emotional Support Animal Brings Loud Whispers From Flight Attendants

      December 25, 2019
      0
    • Not The Summer That I Imagined, Bucketing Myself as a Victim

      July 4, 2018
      0
    • No Treatment is for Everyone: My Process to Finding My "Cure"

      June 27, 2018
      0
    • Fashion Icon Kate Spade Died By Suicide, Brings Forward Conversation About How ...

      June 5, 2018
      0
    • Why I Stand Up For Others, Despite My Own Self Image or ...

      May 25, 2018
      0
    • Psychotic Break, Out-of-Body Experience Felt in Psych Ward

      January 25, 2018
      0
    • Counseling Student Becomes Crisis Text Line Volunteer

      December 29, 2017
      0
    • The Coming Out Moment: Woman Tells Wife About Bipolar Disorder

      December 27, 2017
      0
    • Life After Rape: What It's Really Like Moving Forward

      December 19, 2017
      0
  • Advocates
    • Life is Just Rosy: Beginning Social Media Activism

      March 21, 2018
      0
    • The Obsessive Outsiders: Breaking the Stigma of OCD

      November 30, 2017
      0
    • Tickle My Mind: Prioritizing Self Helps Remove Stigma

      November 21, 2017
      0
    • Totally Mental: Trendy Instagram Account Brings People in a Dark Place Hope ...

      November 7, 2017
      0
    • From Solitary Confinement to Mental Health Advocacy: Young Woman Shares Power Through ...

      November 6, 2017
      0
    • Fashion Line Lifts Stigma Around Schizophrenia, Gives Back

      August 28, 2017
      0
    • Crybaby Creates A Club and Community Like No Other- "The Crybaby Club"

      August 23, 2017
      0
    • Blogger and Instagram Star Explains How Sharing Stories Reduced Her Feelings of ...

      August 1, 2017
      1
    • Clinical Mental Health Counseling Student Takes to Bullet Journaling

      July 24, 2017
      1
  • Insight
    • Peers
    • Professionals
  • Shop
  • Share Your Story
  • PROFESSIONALS
  • Flying With My Emotional Support Animal Brings Loud Whispers From Flight Attendants

  • Our Founder and Mental Health Advocate Gives TED Talk About Trust

  • Remain Confident While Growing Up In The Generation of Social Media

  • Embracing Anger Helps With Coping

  • When to Involve Parents Into Your Friends’ Mental Health Discussion

Experiences
Home›Experiences›Rape Flashbacks: Come Quickly, Leave Slowly

Rape Flashbacks: Come Quickly, Leave Slowly

By Jennifer
June 1, 2017
2096
0

I told myself that I was better. The flashbacks stopped a few days ago. I am a few notches away from manic on the happiness scale. Then I see an image, exactly like the logo he had on his shirt the day he took advantage of me. I tell myself that I am better because maybe if I tell myself that then I will become better.

I tell myself that I will be OK.

I hold the armrests on the seat tight, close my eyes, and clench my teeth and breathe. I hold myself back from inflicting the pain I feel. I feel a knife hit my chest and it hits hard, the kind of feeling you get when you’re winded on the playground. Only on a playground you get pushed backwards.

This pain I feel does not go away and every movement makes it worse like I need to put a dagger where I feel it to relieve the pain. I am not having a panic attack. This is not a time for an Ativan or a Xanax. I just want to die. Yes, I think of what I would be leaving and who I’d be leaving behind, but really i cannot put into words what I feel.

Worthless? Degraded? Ugly? Dumb? Weak? Fat?

I am just another girl who was raped.

People can tell me over and over again how terrible what I went through was. Thanks for the affirmation.

Now what?

Follow Us on Instagram

Contact Us

  • Email
    Info@HappyPill.com
  • Address
    2747 19th St.
    San Francisco, CA 94110

Get Social With Us

  • Terms of Service
  • Privacy Policy
  • Press Room
  • Resources
© 2017 HAPPY PILL LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Near me
25