January 2017 is when I finally worked up enough courage to go to my first-ever psychiatric appointment. Well, my wife was actually the reason I didn’t immediately cancel and shy away from yet another appointment. She promised to sit and wait for however long was needed while I had my appointment. When we were living in Norfolk, VA. I was a patient at a local behavioral center, where I was initially diagnosed with major depressive depressive disorder (MDD) and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). While it was a major step in the right direction, I later expressed to my wife how I still didn’t feel confident or comfortable in what was said.

As I started to re-evaluate my emotions, and myself I took it upon myself to seek a second professional opinion. One morning while my wife was at work, I nervously scheduled a same day appointment with a new psychiatrist. After thorough testing and evaluation, I found out that I was actually misdiagnosed and that I’ve been living with bipolar disorder.

Later that night, as I heard my wife walk through the door, the fear I felt within myself began to take over and I felt the sudden burst of tears fill my eyes. I wasn’t ready to tell her, but I had to tell her.

I finally crawled out of hiding from our dimly lit bedroom and rehearsed what I would say over and over again in my head. I was honestly afraid of what she would think or how she would react. “Today I found out that I have bipolar disorder.” I planned such an elaborate explanation that never happened. She just pulled me in closer and reassured me that it was okay. She didn’t look at me any differently, she didn’t judge me and she didn’t run away like I was afraid she would.

I would find her researching and learning about bipolar disorder in being able to better understand my illness. Coming out to my wife has been the easiest part of my entire mental health journey. She’s been right by my side through it all, from the very beginning, even when I tried to push her away. She loves me on my good days and even more on my bad days. I’ll remember coming out to my wife about having bipolar disorder as a day of rebirth.

Check out Dani’s Instagram account @boldlybipolar